Oh gosh. My heart is beating fast and I can’t think properly. My chest feels tight and I feet like I might throw up. For those of you that have not caught on yet, this is an anxiety attack. Not a panic attack, don’t mix those up. I have never had a panic attack, but anxiety attacks?
Oh gosh darn. I feel like crying. I know it’s a bit much to post twice on the same day, but I seriously can’t deal with this right now. I need something to calm me down, and writing usually does that for me.
I have an uneasy feeling going on right now. And ugh, I feel like I’m going to throw up, like I said.
Anxiety for me is difficult. Nobody can really see it, so when I’m having an anxiety attack, nobody notices, and I don’t blame them, it’s hard to notice, at least for me. I can put on a mask like it’s nobody’s business. All it takes is a smile.
My anxiety is very much internal. So internal I can’t express how it feels most of the time. Sometimes it’s this dull emotionless feeling, which I sometimes confuse with depression, but I think sometimes it might be overstimulation. But I’m not sure because I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist so I don’t know for sure.
This is making me feel better. A lot. The pressure is going down. I don’t feel like I’m going to throw up anymore. Well for the most part. But it’s coming back. ugh.
I always wonder why I have to suffer with this. Mental illness sucks. There I put it out there. I wish nobody ever has to deal with mental illness, but they do. And the worst part is that some people don’t even believe they have an illness, or it’s treated like it’s less important than a physical illness. I hate that. Luckily I have a wonderful support system so I don’t have to deal with that personally. Which is a luxury a lot of people don’t have and I wish I could just go over to them and give them a big hug and tell them everything will be okay.
Well I think that’s all.
Bye for now
xxNaomi