Month: June 2018

I’m trying to make friends with this guy, and he RNR me. Like siriusly(hahaha get it??) I mean it was really mean and stupid and I if he doesn’t actually want to be my friend, he could just say something instead of RNRing me.

See, this is what happened the other day. So it’s the last day of regular English class and I just really want to be his friend, so I go up to him and I ask him to be my friend, and he says yes and everything is good, he laughs a few times and I think I did alright, not like the last time I tried(comment if you want to hear what that whole story was). So then I decide to message him on messenger. All’s good, and then HE RNR’S ME. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I am not kidding, this annoys me a lot. I’m making a freaking blog post on this.

This is a deal breaker for me. If anyone DARES rnr me, they best be ready to not be my friend, cause that shit’s messed up. (btw rnr means read not reply)

Anyways, life has been pretty good. Finals week is coming up this week, so yay. The last few hours, however, have not been kind to my soul. I’m in a really down mood, and it’s not because of the dude who rnr me. It’s my depression creeping on in. Gosh, how I hate depression. I just feel really worthless right now, and I’m not really sure what to do. I’m supposed to talk to someone, but they never really know what to say or I don’t know what to say. I wish I had a reason I was depressed. Like I was abused as a child or I’m bullied a lot, but nope, it’s just me with the perfect life, except not so perfect because I am just that great. I mess up everything.

I’m not sure if many people know what depression feels like. It feels like there’s this whole in my chest and it’s sucking everything out of me. All of my emotions, feelings, everything. And there’s this weight, this physical weight on my chest that holds me down. And then there’s the self-doubt and the negative thinking, and it’s like that voice in your head, except with a megaphone preaching to a crowd. About how stupid and idiotic you are. It’s a horrible thing to go through.

 

Bye for now

xxNaomi

Okay, so I know I literally just posted something, but I just found out that one of my favourite bands released a new single. THAT’S RIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND NON-CONFORMING PEOPLE  ALL TIME LOW REALEASED A NEW SINGLE TITLED ‘Everything is Fine’. WOOHOO.

So in honour of All Time Low, I will review and analyze their song. I’ve never done this before so don’t judge me or say I did something wrong, because chances are I did.

 

The song starts off with some nice guitar and drums. It’s got this really nice beat to it. This is the kind of music I’d like to dance to (not fricking Justin Bieber crap).

The lyrics, I find are quite meaningful and I find this a lot with this genre of music (Again, not like Justin Bieber crap). Basically, the song is saying that everything is fine (Like the title implies) even though a bunch of shit is going on. That you can be strong, even when everything is falling apart.

The line “Everything is fine and nothing matters
Weather’s always nice inside my head” shows us that you can be in the darkest of moments, but you can always stay positive.

I think my favourite lines in the entire song is “I turn my music up so loud
Tired of bullshit, drown it out” because it is so relatable. I turn my music up so loud sometimes, because I just want to drown everything out, all my problems.

All in all, I think this is an excellent song. Tell me what you think in the comments below.

 

Bye for now

xxNaomi

Oh gosh. My heart is beating fast and I can’t think properly. My chest feels tight and I feet like I might throw up. For those of you that have not caught on yet, this is an anxiety attack. Not a panic attack, don’t mix those up. I have never had a panic attack, but anxiety attacks?

Oh gosh darn. I feel like crying. I know it’s a bit much to post twice on the same day, but I seriously can’t deal with this right now. I need something to calm me down, and writing usually does that for me.

I have an uneasy feeling going on right now. And ugh, I feel like I’m going to throw up, like I said.

Anxiety for me is difficult. Nobody can really see it, so when I’m having an anxiety attack, nobody notices, and I don’t blame them, it’s hard to notice, at least for me. I can put on a mask like it’s nobody’s business. All it takes is a smile.

My anxiety is very much internal. So internal I can’t express how it feels most of the time. Sometimes it’s this dull emotionless feeling, which I sometimes confuse with depression, but I think sometimes it might be overstimulation. But I’m not sure because I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist so I don’t know for sure.

This is making me feel better. A lot. The pressure is going down. I don’t feel like I’m going to throw up anymore. Well for the most part. But it’s coming back. ugh.

I always wonder why I have to suffer with this. Mental illness sucks. There I put it out there. I wish nobody ever has to deal with mental illness, but they do. And the worst part is that some people don’t even believe they have an illness, or it’s treated like it’s less important than a physical illness. I hate that. Luckily I have a wonderful support system so I don’t have to deal with that personally. Which is a luxury a lot of people don’t have and I wish I could just go over to them and give them a big hug and tell them everything will be okay.

Well I think that’s all.

 

Bye for now

xxNaomi

Hello

This is Naomi. Welcome to my blog. I would have put an exclamation point there, but I absolutely despise exclamation points. Like, look at it. Welcome to my blog! ugh. It sounds so peppy. I’d rather use all caps. WELCOME TO MY BLOG. Now you’re screaming in your head. Hahaha.

I started this blog for one reason and one reason only, to express myself. Here you will find my writing, some diary-like entries and other random stuff.

Some things you should know about me:
– I absolutely love Game Of Thrones(Watching Game Of Thrones right this at        the moment actually).
– And Harry Potter/Fantastic Beasts
– I love writing
– And reading (duh)
– This is probably going to be very infrequent, at least for the first little while         because I am the queen of procrastination
– BUT I will try my hardest to write as frequent as I can
– Not making any promises though
– I am bisexual
– If you are a homophobe or biphobe(is that the word?) or racist or                              disrespectful or whatever then leave immediately because I won’t take your      crap

As I said, I will try to write as much as I can, but writer’s block is a thing(Ughhhhhh). And just a warning, you will unfortunately see some of my poetry on here.

Well I guess that’s it…. But I want to keep talkinggggg

I will keep talking.

Because this is my blog.

Ha

Haha

Hahaha

I guess I can tell you about my school life. School is… well school. I don’t know what more to say. Homework is a bitch. (sorry if you don’t like swearing. There will most definitely be more swearing in the future, unfortunately). But I work in the library as a Student Aide. It’s awesome.

Well I guess I should go now, I don’t want to bore you. I probably already have and you’re not reading anymore. Well if you have read this far comment ‘Pineapple’ and I will know that you have in fact read the entire post.

Bye for now
xxNaomi